I just checked out how to spell douche and douching in Wikipedia. They don't use it in the past tense, "He douched as soon as he came back to my flat", I suppose. The word comes from douche (shower) in French. The Germans have the same word for shower but they spell it differently: die Dusche / duschen. It doesn't mean that in English and that's the only good thing I have to say about douching. According to Wikipedia only North American women do it – some Wiki editor should correct the entry. Gay men who douche before sex drive me crazy.
One regular shag I had always insisted on douching as soon as he arrived in my flat. He was a complete bottom and after douching would regular produce a fountain of brown liquid over the bed. What a turn on! He was not an exception; there is nearly always an unpleasant after douche sloosh. For heaven's sake, what's wrong with a bit of poo on a condom? Whip it out, whip it off and put a fresh one on. Your lover's arse will soon be clean.
And then there's the shower maintenance issue. I have just washed my shower curtain again. It had developed mysterious brown spots. And that's not the worst of it: Shag comes home; disappears into bathroom for ten minutes; deaf to protests; and emerges looking pleased with himself. Apart from the douche sloosh risk, on later examination the shower head has become detached from the hose and the rubber O-ring has disappeared. So a trip to the DIY shop is required to buy a new one the next day. Nowadays I keep a box of them. And I ask, what happens to the O-rings? They wouldn't fit down the drain, so I guess they must be lost up an arse.
DOUCHE OFF!
